Instant Death

Stumbling across a movie you've never heard of can be a bit of a crapshoot. Sometimes the movie's good, sometimes bad. Today I found 2017's Instant Death, and it is 84 minutes of Grade-A schlock.

Another in a long line of 'old guy gets revenge' films, the plot of this movie is just one cliché after another; John Bradley (played by Lou Ferrigno) is a Special Forces veteran who is trying to reconnect with what family he has left. Then one day, after witnessing a gang-related murder, he finds himself in the crosshairs of a drug lord named Razor. When the gang goes looking for John and learn that he's not in town they attack his family to draw him back. Once he finds out that his daughter was raped and beaten and his granddaughter killed, John becomes a one-man wrecking crew hell-bent on vengeance. 

As an actual action movie, it's pretty terrible. As an unintentional comedy it's fantastic. The fight scenes in this movie are bad to the point of being hilarious, and Ferrigno's 'tough-guy' threats are cheesy as a can be. As a result, I'm kind of torn on this one. Quality wise, the movie deserves a 1 out of 5. However, I got so many laughs out of it that I do actually recommend it as a "so bad it's good" movie.

The Campaign

Will Ferrell's filmography runs the gamut of comedy, from side-splitting highs to cringe-worthy unfunny lows, and everything in between. Today's movie is neither a comedy classic nor offensively bad, it's 2012's The Campaign. 

The movie, if you've never seen it, is about an unscrupulous North Carolina Congressman named Cam Brady (played by Ferrell) who thinks he's going to run unopposed for a fifth term in office. That is until, just weeks before the election, some corrupt businessmen convince the town's local tourism director Marty Huggins (played by Zach Galifianakis) to run against Brady. From there the movie becomes a series over-the-top dirty tricks and political mud-slinging. While on the surface a political-satire about the lengths politicians will go to in order to get elected is a fun idea, this movie doesn't contain enough clever material to really stick the landing. It's a bit of a shame because I do like the two leads and there are some jokes scattered throughout the film that I do think are legitimately funny. However, I feel like enjoyment of the film relies a bit too heavily on the viewer thinking Zach Galifianakis playing an awkward guy with a  funny voice and Will Ferrell yelling like spoiled child is hilarious. 

This is one of those movies I'll often cite as an example of being 'close to good'. It's a perfectly watchable piece of entertainment but, with a slightly smarter script and better directing this could've been a really good comedy. 
Although I wouldn't recommend the movie to anyone, if you're just in the mood to kick back and watch an hour and a half of pure buffoonery, The Campaign will get the job done.
2 out of 5

$5 a Day

$5 a Day is a 2008 dramatic-comedy starring Christopher Walken, Alessandro Nivola, Amanda Peet, and Sharon Stone. 

In the film Christopher Walken plays Nat, a terminally-ill con-man who wants to reconnect and make amends with his son Richie (played by Alessandro Nivola). The plan is to take a five day road trip together to New Mexico, where Nat can undergo some experimental treatment for a brain tumor and, hopefully along the way the two can put their past issues behind them. It's a pretty straight-forward plot but, it's done really well. I found myself interested in the little stories and trips down memory lane that the two main characters dicuss while on their journey, and there are a good number of funny moments sprinkled throughout. It all makes for a pretty enjoyable road trip movie.

I thought the acting and story in this one were good. One of the only complaints I have is that the movie is probably ten or fifteen minutes too short. It's all paced very well until the third act, then it felt like they rushed to the ending. Overall, this one isn't a 'must-see' but, I do recommend checking it out if you come across it.

3 out of 5.

I.T.

Today's movie is I.T., a thriller from 2016 that stars Pierce Brosnan and James Frecheville. The critical response to this movie wasn't all that good, as it currently holds a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 5.4/10 on the IMDb. While I'm certainly not going to say the movie is great, I do think it's a little better than those scores would suggest.

The film is about a successful businessman named Mike Regan (played by Brosnan) who's in need of a little help with his state-of-the-art "smart-home". Later on, when an important presentation at the office starts to glitch, the new i.t. guy at the office named Ed (played by Frecheville) catches Mike's attention. So, Mike invites him over to his house for help. It becomes pretty obvious early on that Ed has some issues, as over the next few days he begins inviting himself over and stalking Mike's 17 year-old daughter. After Mike decides enough is enough he fires Ed, and this is what sets everything off. Ed has hacked into both Mike's house as well as his business, and he is determined to get revenge...

I've seen my fair share of these cat-and-mouse thrillers, and this one is far from the worst. It's a bit too formulaic and James Frecheville turns in a less than stellar performance. On the positive side, Brosnan is pretty good and I was never bored during the movie.

This one is a solid 2 out of 5.

Yoga Hosers

I'll start off with this; I like Kevin Smith as a filmmaker. I find things to like even in his lesser films, and the 2016 horror-comedy Yoga Hosers is definitely one of his lesser films. In terms of films Smith has directed, only 2010's Cop Out has a lower Rotten Tomatoes score. 

The movie is about two teenage convenience store clerks/best friends who are both named Colleen (these two are played by Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp). After a couple of boys from their school are murdered at the store the Colleens are arrested. In an attempt to prove that the are not responsible, and that the killers are actually mutated Nazi bratwurst (referred to in the film as 'Bratzis') they convince Detective Guy Lapointe (played by Johnny Deep) to help them escape jail. Once they do, they find that under the convenience store, in a secret lair. Living down there is a former Nazi scientist who created the Bratzis and has now constucted a large monster dubbed the "Goalie Golem". So, Colleen and Colleen have to defeat the golem, clear their names, and then the movie is over.

This isn't a very good movie. It suffers from, more than anything, a half-baked screenplay. However, as a dumb lighthearted-hearted comedy it's perfectly watchable. Sure, a good chuck of the jokes don't hit the mark but, there are a few funny lines and the characters are likeable enough.

 1.5 out of 5

A Week of Kubrick- Day 7: 2001: A Space Odyssey

 After Full Metal Jacket, Lolita, Eyes Wide Shut, Spartacus, Barry Lyndon, and The Shining, the final entry in this 'Week of Kubrick is 1968's 2001: A Space Odyssey. This is probably the film most associated with Kubrick, and for a very good reason; it is a masterpiece. You'll find it on just about every 'Best Movies of All-Time' list and it's easily on of the most influential films in the history of sci-fi.

I could heap praise on this movie all day but there are three key aspects of the film I want to mention. First off, the obvious one, this movie is incredibly thought provoking and it begs to be watched numerous times. There are all sorts of theories out there about what the monolith is, where exactly Dave ended up and how he got there, what caused HAL to do what it did, and what message is the movie trying to get across. Some see it as an apocalyptic view of what's to come and others see it in a more optimistic light. It touches on themes of human evolution, the dangers of technology and artificial intelligence, and existentialism. 

The next thing is, because it was released in 1968 and all of the visual effects had to be done practically, and because so much thought and care was put into every aspect of the film, it's still visually captivating to watch. There are sci-fi films from ten years ago that look very dated but, over 50 years later and this one still holds up.

Final thing I want to mention is the music and sound design. Whether it's shots of space stations set to classical music or quiet scenes with no sound other than breathing, what you hear in this film perfectly compliments the visuals.

It's probably no surprise but, I give this film a 5 out of 5.

A Week of Kubrick - Day 6: The Shining

Based on a Stephen King novel of the same name (although Kubrick famously made changes in the film version that King hated) The Shining is a suspenseful horror film from 1980. I personally have gone back and forth on this film over the years. The first time I saw it, I loved it. After a few more viewings my feelings became a bit more mixed and critical of certain aspects. Eventually, over the years, I've settled somewhere in the middle.

The film stars Jack Nicholson, Shelly Duvall, and Danny Lloyd. It's about a writer named Jack Torrance (played by Nicholson) who accepts a job as the winter caretaker at the remote Overlook Hotel, and he brings his wife Wendy and son Danny along. The problem is, this hotel was built on a Native-American burial ground and has a dark past. Danny, who has a telepathic ability known in the film as 'shining' is the first to see ghosts and frightening images in the hotel. However, Jack soon starts to see them as well and begins to spiral into madness. Eventually, attempting to murder his family.

While this one isn't my favorite Kubrick film, it's hard to deny it's impact and influence of on the horror genre. Everything from the great acting, to the camerawork and pacing, to the iconic moments and the eerie musical score make this one a true horror classic.
I give The Shining a 4.5 out of 5.

A Week of Kubrick- Day 5: Barry Lyndon

Day 5.
 So far during this 'Week of Kubrick' I've written about Full Metal Jacket, Lolita, Eyes Wide Shut, and Spartacus. Today's movie is the 1975 period-drama Barry Lyndon. A lot of times I find when talking to people, that this seems to be an overlooked Kubrick film. Everyone talks about the Shining, and A Clockwork Orange, and 2001: A Space Odyssey but rarely Barry Lyndon. It's a bit of a shame because I think, visually, this is Kubrick's most beautiful film. It is a little long, as many of Kubrick's films are, clocking in at just over 3 hours. However, the movie is divided into two parts so it can be viewed across two nights without losing momentum. I first saw this movie on T.V. and this is how it was presented.

As for the films story, it's an adaptation of the 1844 novel The Luck of Barry Lyndon by William Makepeace Thackeray and is essentially a rag-to-riches-back-to-rags story. I'm not going to outline the whole plot, because I think it's a movie definitely worth seeing. The film takes place during the latter half of the 18th-century with a decent chuck of Part I set during the Seven Years War. For me this is a notable aspect because I usually don't gravitate to period pieces about this era (maybe it's all the powdered wigs). However, I really enjoy this one. The acting is solid, the cinematography is fantastic, and the story is engaging. 

I realize that it's not going to connect with everyone who watches it but, I still think it's worth checking out if you've never seen it. 
4.5 out of 5

A Week of Kubrick- Day 4: Spartacus

A historical epic directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring actors like Kirk Douglas and Laurence Olivier... of course this movie is good. 

The reason I chose this one for today over some other Kubrick films was for two reason: 1) I just really like this movie and wanted to rewatched it. 2) There are a few sort of  behind-the-scenes facts about the film that I think are interesting. First off, the film wasn't originally supposed to be directed by Stanley Kubrick. Anthony Mann was the original director but was replaced by Kubrick shortly after filming began. Not a bad choice, as the film went on to win several awards. Additionally, Kubrick made public that the film's screenwriter was Dalton Trumbo who had previously been blacklisted a decade earlier for refusing to testify before the House Un-American Committee with regards to whether or not he was a Communist. 

As for the film itself, it was released in 1960 and this was the era of big-budget, 3hour+, historical epics. Spartacus is definitely a recommend for anyone who is a fan of The Ten Commandments (1956), Cleopatra (1963), Ben-Hur (1959), or The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964). The story is that of a slave named Spartacus (played by Kirk Douglas) who is sold and placed into a gladiator training school. One day there is a riot at the school and Spartacus, along with several others, escape. Spartacus is elected leader of the group with the goal of leading the people out of Italy and back to their home countries, while plundering Roman estates and freeing other slaves along the way. Of course, this doesn't sit well with the Roman government and their legions set out to destroy Spartacus and his army of former slaves.

Overall, it's a very good movie that I highly recommend but, it isn't without it's flaws. The one negative thing that stands out to me is that I feel the film is a bit uneven. While there are iconic moments like the famous "I am Spartacus" scene, there are also some sequences that drag on a bit too long. It's not a breezy 184 minutes, you are going to feel the runtime. However, you can shave off a few munites if you skip past the overture and intermission. 

I give this one a 4 out of 5.

A Week of Kubrick - Day 3: Eyes Wide Shut

It's day 3 of "A Week of Kubrick" and so far I've taken a look back and rewatched Full Metal Jacket from 1987 and Lolita from 1962. Today's movie was the last film Kubrick ever made and was actually released shortly after his death. The film is, of course, 1999's Eyes Wide Shut. 

1999 is often considered one of the great years in the history of cinema with films like The Matrix, Fight Club, American Beauty, The Green Mile, The Sixth Sense, and Magnolia all coming out that year. Kubrick's final directorial outing is among those memorable films that closed out the 90's.

The film stars Tom Cruise as Dr. Bill Harford and Nicole Kidman as his wife Alice. It starts out simple enough with the two attending a Christmas party where they are both seen by each other flirting with other guests. The next evening while having an argument Bill receives a call about a patient of his passing away, and this is really what sets off a chain of events that drives the whole film; When Bill visits the dead man's daughter she tries, unsuccessfully, to seduce him. On the way back home Bill engages a prostitute but changes his mind at the last second. After that he notices an old college acquaintance, Nick, is playing piano at night club he decides to go inside. The two start up a conversation but are quickly interrupted when Nick receives a phone call about playing piano at a secret event where everyone wears masks. Intrigued by this, Bill rents a costume and heads to the party. What he finds when he arrives is a secret society and sexual rituals. It doesn't take long for the members to realize that Bill is an unwelcome outsider. They kick him out of the party and basically tell him to forget the whole thing. Of course he doesn't, and the rest of the film mostly revolves around the events of that night.

 It's a film of mystery and intrigue, all the while maintaining a sort of dream-like quality as Christmas lights give so many scenes a warm glow. While I don't think many would consider it one of Kubrick's best, it's still a solid film that is well acted and beautifully shot.
I give Eyes Wide Shut a 4 out of 5.

A Week of Kubrick - Day 2: Lolita

Yesterday's 'Week of Kubrick' review was 1987's Full Metal Jacket. Today's film is one from earlier in Stanley Kubrick's career, Lolita.

Released in 1962 and based on a Vladimir Nabokov novel that I've never read, Lolita stars James Mason, Sue Lyon, Shelley Winters, and Peter Sellers. In the movie James Mason plays Humbert, a professor who plans on spending his summer in New Hampshire. Humbert finds a room to rent at the home of a widow named Charlotte Haze (played by Shelley Winters). The lonely Mrs. Haze starts flirting with Humbert right off the bat however, he immediately becomes infatuated with her young teenage daughter, Lolita (played by Sue Lyon). Despite this, Humbert and Charlotte marry during that same summer. One evening, after Charlotte stumbles upon Humbert secret affection for her daughter while reading his diary, she runs out into the rain and is hit by a car. With Charlotte now dead, Humbert pursues a relationship with Lolita. It's both disturbing and captivating to watch how obsessed with Lolita Humbert becomes because James Mason plays it so well. 

This is a great film filled with strong performances. However this one isn't the easiest of Kubrick's to recommend because of the subject matter. At the time James Mason was in his early 50's when this movie came out and the character of Lolita is in her early teens. That is the foundation of the film but, I understand why it would put some people off. 

Overall, I really like this movie. However, if I have one criticism with the film it is that, at 150+ minutes, the film does feel a little too long. 

4.5 out of 5

A Week of Kubrick - Day 1: Full Metal Jacket

Stanley Kubrick is, without a doubt, one of the greatest film Directors of all-time. Some would even argue that he is the greatest. All this week I'm going to take a look at a different Kubrick film each day. Some of these films are favorites of mine, and some I haven't seen in many years.

Today's movie is the 1987 film, Full Metal Jacket. This isn't my favorite Kubrick movie but, it might be the one of seen the most times. Set during the Vietnam War, this film starts out with a first act following a group of recruits at Marine boot camp, and for me this is the strongest section of the film. While many of the recruits have some moments to shine, the focus is really on two characters; Sergeant Hartman, an abrasive hard-as-nails drill instructor played by R. Lee Ermey and Private Leonard Lawrence (nicknamed 'Gomer Pyle' by Hartman) played by Vincent D'Onofrio. After all of the boot camp scenes, the film shifts to Vietnam and the plot centers around another character introduced during the first act, Sergeant J.T. "Joker" Davis (played by Matthew Modine). While this second section, which makes up about two-thirds of the film, is still engaging and incredibly well-crafted it doesn't quite hold my attention like the boot camp stuff.

Overall, Full Metal Jacket is a very good film. There are tons of great moments, memorable lines, and solid acting throughout. I don't know if it's quite as good as some other "War is Hell" Vietnam movies like 1986's Platoon or 1979's Apocalypse Now but, it's definitely a must-see.

4 out of 5

In Defense of 'Quantum of Solace'

2008's Quantum of Solace is often referred to as one of the lesser Bond films and, while it isn't my favorite, I think that it's better than a lot of people give it credit for. I love the Bond film franchise but it isn't without it's flaws; Bond once diffused a nuclear device while dressed as a clown in Octopussy. Bond parasurfs on a horrible looking CGI wave in Die Another Day. He snowboards down a mountain on a water ski while California Girls plays in A View to a Kill. In You Only Live Twice Bond to disguises himself (poorly) as a Japanese man despite being played by Sean Connery who is 6' 2" and makes no attempt to hide his accent. Moonraker… just all of Moonraker.

With regards to Quantum of Solace, I think the film gets a bit of a bad rap. It came out just two years after, what is considered by many, to be one of the best Bond pictures, Casino Royale. I remember as a fan having high, and maybe unrealistic, expectations for the follow-up to that film. There are some things I don't like about this entry in the series but I think there are plenty of positives too. I like Daniel Craig as James Bond and I like that this film builds off of the events of Casino Royale rather than being another one-off Bond adventure. Also, Judi Dench is always great as 'M' and the song "Another Way to Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys is one of my favorites of all the Bond opening credits songs.

A criticism I hear a lot is that this movie is boring. Boring? The movie contains a car chase, a chase on foot across rooftops, and a boat chase all within the first 25 minutes. Later there is also an aerial action scene, and a shootout in an exploding hotel... I think the plot is a little underdeveloped and the villain's plan isn't incredibly interesting but, I personally haven't ever considered it a boring film. My only critique of these action scenes is that I feel the editing is a bit frantic. 

Overall, I don't think Quantum of Solace should be considered one of the great Bond films but, it's not one of the worst in my book either. I think more people should give this one another chance. 

It gets a solid 3 out of 5 from me.

Beneath the Darkness

2011's Beneath the Darkness was one of my recent bargain bin finds and I picked it up because it sounded like it had potential.
 

The film is about a small town mortician named Vaughn Ely (played by Dennis Quaid) who's wife died a couple years back. One night, some high school kids decide to sneak onto Ely's property because there is a rumor his house is haunted. When the kids see the silhouette of people dancing through the window and notice Ely's van isn't there they decide to break in a search for answers. While inside the find the dead body of Ely's wife, and are soon confronted by Ely himself. While three of the kids escape, one of them is thrown down the stairs and killed by the mortician. Of course the police don't believe the kids story that this pillar of the community is a murderer and, after all, they did break into his house. Two of the teens Travis and Abby (played by Tony Oller and Amiee Teegarden respectively) refuse to let Ely get away his terrible deeds. So, set out to get proof that he's an insane murderer, nearly getting themselves killed in the process.

This isn't a good movie. The acting is dodgy and the film struggles to fill it's hour and a half runtime. The premise may sound intriguing but, its not executed well. If you happen upon this one on a streaming service or in a bargain bin, don't waste your time.

1 out of 5.

A Look Back At Men in Black

Released in 1997, Men in Black was a huge hit at the box-office. It was the #3 highest grossing film of that year, earning around $589 million worldwide and coming in just behind The Lost World: Jurassic Park. This success led to a franchise consisting of three sequels (you can check out my review of the most recent one, Men in Black: International HERE) and an animated T.V. show. So, how does the original hold up after 20+ years?

The film has a relatively simple and accessible premise; There are aliens living amongst us, and there is a secret organization known as the Men in Black in charge of monitoring and policing these aliens while they're on Earth. One of these senior MIB agents, Agent K (played by Tommy Lee Jones) needs to select and train a new agent. His choice is a NYPD officer named James Edwards (played by Will Smith) and, upon accepting, Edwards becomes Agent J. Of course this is a movie, and it's only about a hour and a half long, so Agents J and K soon find themselves in pursuit of a vicious alien with the fate of the entire planet at stake.

Overall, as a sci-fi version of a buddy-cop movie I think it works well. Most of the dialogue between Smith and Jones is fun and I think both actors turn in solid performances. The visual effects are a bit of a mixed-bag. While a lot of the make-up effects look great, some of the CGI hasn't held up as well but, none of it is distractingly bad. I think it's a pretty well-paced film, the Danny Elfman musical score is solid, and the whole movie is full of memorable moments and quotable lines.
I give this one a 3.5 out of 5

A Look Back At The Avengers

It's been a number of years now since The Avengers hit theaters and I think it's about time that I take a look back at the film. 

Of course, I am referring to the 1998 film The Avengers which is based on a British television series from the 60's, and not the film based on characters from Marvel Comics. Despite starring a strong core cast of Uma Thurman, Ralph Fiennes, and Sean Connery the film was a critical and commercial flop and often appears on 'Worst Films Ever Made" lists. However, over time it has become one of my favorite bad movies.

The film is about British secret agent John Steed (played by Fiennes) who needs to team up with a doctor named Emma Peel (Uma Thurman). Dr. Peel had previously worked on a weather controlling system called the Prospero project, which has been recently sabotaged by someone who looks exactly like her. This doppelganger happens to be a clone who is working for the evil August de Wynter (Sean Connery). August de Wynter's plan is to use his weather controlling machine to force the world's leaders to buy good weather from him for a hefty price. So, it's up to Steed and Peel to foil August de Wynter's diabolical plan.

Overall, yes it is a bad movie. It's campy, a good chuck of the effects haven't  held up, the ending feels rushed, and it's not particularly well written or acted. I rewatch this one every so often and, while I have fun with it, I still can't really recommend it.
1.5 out of 5

Space Cowboys

Released in 2000, Space Cowboys stars Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland, and James Garner. Like many of his films, this one was also directed by Eastwood. 

The film is about four former (and now elderly) test pilots who get the unlikely opportunity to fly a mission into space. The reason NASA is sending a group of senior citizens on a shuttle mission involves an old satelitte with an outdated guidance system created by one of those pilots, Frank Corvin (played by Eastwood). Frank is the only man in the world who knows how to repaire the guidance system and he is determined to get himself and his old test pilot buddies into space. The four were stripped of the chance to become astronauts some 40+ years ago by the very same man who is now incharge of this mission, Bob Gerson (played by James Cromwell). So, even though much of the characters motivation comes from the desire to go into space, it's also partially fueled by revenge. Of course, they do end up in space, the mission doesn't go quite according to plan, and one of them has to sacrifice himself to avoid a major disaster (spoilers: it's Tommy Lee Jones' character). 

Overall, I don't think Space Cowboys is a great movie... it's just ok. The acting is pretty good and the special effects mostly hold up. However, the plot is a little thin, at 130mins it feels too long and drags a bit, and a decent chunk of the dialogue is just referencing how old these guys are. If you never seen this one, and always wanted a version of Grumpy Old Men but in space, then this is right up your alley. Otherwise, I don't think it's a must-see.

2.5 out of 5

Dirty Work

1998's Dirty Work wasn't a hit with critics and it didn't perform well at the box-office. However, if you're like me and a fan of Norm Macdonald's brand of comedy then it's a pretty enjoyable movie. 

Directed by Bob Saget, and starring Norm Macdonald and Artie Lange, the movie is about two long-time friends, Mitch and Sam (who later find out that they're actually brothers) that need to come up with $50,000 to pay for their father's heart transplant. So, they start a revenge-for-hire business called "Dirty Work". There doesn't seem to be a shortage of people willing to hire the two, but not for a substantial enough amount of money to save their father's life. That is until they are offered $50,000 by land developer Travis Cole (played by Christopher McDonald) to wreck an apartment building so that all the tenets will move out and he can bulldoze it. Of course, this is a trick and Cole has no intention of paying them. After being stiffed for the money, Mitch and Sam plot their elaborate revenge which will not only net them the cash Cole owes them but, will also land him in jail.

It's a pretty straight forward plot and it's just barely enough to keep the string of gags held together but, I think it works. In addition to Macdonald and Lange, the film also features Chevy Chase as a gambling-addicted heart surgeon, cameos by Don Rickles, John Goodman, Rebecca Romijn, and Adam Sandler, as well as Chris Farley in his last film role. This obviously isn't going to be a comedy that resonates with everyone but I really do think it has quite a few funny moments throughout. 

3 out of 5.