The Tooth Fairy

I've been posting about a number of horror films lately in the lead up Halloween. So far I've written about Dog Soldiers, WolfCop, American Poltergeist, and Exorcism of the Dead. That trend continues today with The Tooth Fairy (not to be confused with the 2010 family-comedy Tooth Fairy starring Dwayne Johnson). 

Released in 2006 The Tooth Fairy is about a old witch who takes children's teeth with the promise of gifts in exchange. The kids never receive the gifts but, are instead brutally murdered and their teeth are kept inside the witch's magic music-box. The film actually starts out with one of these murders and then jumps several decades forward to the present day. A man named Peter (played by Lochlyn Munro) is restoring the witch's house and turning into a cozy bed and breakfast. Peter invites his girlfriend and her daughter Pamela up to the house for a relaxing weekend, but thing go south pretty quickly. After befriending the ghost of another young girl and learning the legend of the evil witch known as the 'Tooth Fairy', Pamela looses a tooth. This, along with the restoration of the home, awakens the witch and she goes on a killing spree. 

This movie is a mess. The witch is after Pamela's tooth but most of her killings seem unrelated to that goal. There are also these two redneck characters who aren't necessary to the plot, and I think were just added to pad the runtime. The acting isn't good, but it's passable for a direct-to-video horror flick. The biggest problem however is that I didn't find this film all that interesting. There are a couple of good kills and some unitentionally funny moments but, it's not enough to earn this movie a recommendation from me.

I give The Tooth Fairy a 1 out of 5.

Horror Double Feature

Halloween is just around the corner and, as I typically do this time of year, I've been watching a few of horror movies to get into the spirit. Last night I ventured into the dark recesses of a couple streaming services hoping to find some spooky options. 

The first movie I decided to check out was American Poltergeist on Netflix. 

Released in 2015, this film is about a group of college kids who decide that this semester they want to live off-campus, and so they rent a couple of rooms at an old house. Of course, this house has a dark past and is haunted. At first it starts out with the landlady acting a little creepy and some strange noises in the house. Eventually, when one of the girls starts to have visions of the people who were killed in the home, things start to escalate quickly. Overall, there is very little positive to say about this movie. The acting is bad, it's not well written, the sound design is shoddy, etc. However, it does hit that sweet spot of being so bad that I found it hilarious. I can't recommend this movie if you're looking for some good scares, with that being said, you may get a few laughs out of it. This one deserves a 0 out of 5 rating but, because I was so entertained by it, I'm going to give American Poltergeist a 1 out of 5.


The second movie I landed on last night was Exorcism of the Dead from 2017, which I came across on Amazon Prime Video. 

Movies about exorcisms have always had a way of suckering me in ever since I first saw 1973's The Exorcist which still stands as the gold-standard of such films. This movie could not be further in quality from that masterpiece. Exorcism of the Dead is probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The movie starts off with a woman emailing the Catholic church asking for help as she believes her daughter is possessed by a demon. Eventually a priest arrives and goes up to the girl's room, with her uncle, to perform an exorcism. Most of the movie takes place in this one room and it might be the most boring exorcism ever put to film. Occasionally the movie will venture to another location to show a murder, but it's not much more interesting. This is a rare film with no redeeming qualities, at least that I could spot. I'm giving this one a 0 out of 5.

WolfCop

My last post was about 2002's Dog Soldiers and, since we're only a week away from Halloween, I decided checkout at another werewolf flick.

So, today's movie is the Canadian horror-comedy film WolfCop, which was released back in 2014. With a title like 'WolfCop' you'd probably assume this is a schlocky B-movie....and you would be correct. However, it's also a ton of fun and really entertaining. The movie stars Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, Jonathan Cherry, Sarah Lind, and Jesse Moss. It centers around a drunken loser of a police officer named Lou Garou (played by Fafard). One night a cult kidnaps Lou and performs a ritual to turn him into a werewolf for their own nefarious purposes. Unfortunately for the cult, they underestimated Garou. Even though he transforms into a beast at night, he still retains enough intelligence to put on his uniform, grab his gun, and hit the streets as the 'WolfCop'.

If you're a fan of horror-comedies then I think that this is definitely one you should check out. It's a little uneven, but it provides just enough gore and dumb laughs to make it worthwhile. I would've liked if the movie was maybe 10 minutes or so longer, because there were a few times when it felt like it was rushing a bit. I went back and forth on whether to give this one a 2.5 or a 3. In the end I decided that, on fun-factor alone, it deserved that extra bump. 
I give WolfCop a 3 out of 5.

Dog Soldiers

2002's Dog Soldiers is a film that I've been meaning to watch for quite a while but just never got around to until now. 

Directed by Neil Marshall, this horror movie is about a group of soldiers who are sent into the woods in Scotland to participate in a training exercise. It's not long before the team stumbles upon a Special Forces camp that has clearly been attacked. Realizing that they are now in in some serious danger, they tend to the wounds of the only surviving Special Forces member and quickly abandon the camp. Almost immediately after, they are attacked by a werewolf with one soldier being killed and another being severely wounded. the group flees towards a nearby road where they are picked up and driven to a farm house by a local woman. From there the film takes a sort of Night of the Living Dead approach, with this group of people trapped in house that is surrounded by monsters. They board up the windows, assess what supplies they have for survival, formulate a few escape plans... all the usual stuff.

I'm not going to call this one a 'great movie' but, I was entertained throughout. It was tense when it needed to be, most of the acting was pretty good, the creature effects were well done, and it's easily one of the better werewolf movies that I've seen. Overall, I had a good time with it and I recommend checking it out if you've never seen it.

 3.5 out of 5

The Infiltrator

This is going to be a short review, because this film may be one of the all-time 'Just OK' movies.

Based on true events, 2016's The Infiltrator is about a U.S. Customs Agent who goes undercover in an attempt to expose a money-laundering organization connected to infamous drug lord Pablo Escobar. The film features a pretty solid cast, highlighted by Bryan Cranston, and tells a interesting story. However, this is a movie that seems like it should have been a little better. As it is, while it's definitely not a bad movie, it feels a bit clunky at times.

Overall, this one is entertaining enough that you won't feel like you wasted 2 hours. That being said, it's also largely forgettable and just made me want to rewatch the 2017 Doug Liman film American Made. 

I give this one a 3 out of 5.

Help!

The 1965 movie Help! is a musical-comedy starring The Beatles, and was released just a year after their first big-screen film A Hard Day's Night.

In the film, a cult is about to sacrifice a woman but soon discovers that she isn't wearing the necessary 'sacrificial ring'. The ring, as it turns out, is currently in the possession of Beatles' drummer Ringo. Upon learning this, several members of the cult (including their leader) try to retrieve the ring while constantly being foiled at every turn. After discovering that the ring is stuck and won't come off, The Beatles seek the help of a mad scientist and his assistant. Of course, the scientist realizes the value of the ring as well, meaning there are now two more people in pursuit of the group. The whole plot as you'd probably expect only serves as an excuse to have a fun, globetrotting adventure with The Beatles. Likewise, every new locale merely exists in the film as a spot for the four to perform one of their songs.

While the film may be light on plot, it's still a fun watch. Obviously it has a solid soundtrack, and there are also quite a few really funny jokes and sight gags. With that being said, there are a few scenes that feel like filler to help the film reach its 92 minute runtime. Overall, Help! is no masterpiece but, as an entertaining, madcap-comedy, it gets the job done.  

I give it a 3 out of 5.

The Legend of Tarzan

Directed by David Yates (who's best known for directing a handful of Harry Potter films), The Legend of Tarzan was released in 2016. I didn't initially see this one in the theaters and I guess I'm not alone there, as the film lost the studio an estimated $40 million. However, it wasn't because of lack of interest, I just never got around to it until now. The film has a pretty impressive cast, starring the likes of Alexander Skarsgard, Margot Robbie, Christoph Waltz, and Samuel L. Jackson. Also, much like films about King Arthur or Robin Hood, Tarzan movies always seem to sucker me in. 

This one starts of with Tarzan (played by Skarsgard), now going by his birth name John Clayton, living in England with his wife Jane (played by Robbie). All of Clayton's back story about his parents being killed, being raised by apes, meeting Jane, etc. is told through flashbacks. Of course, a film about a civilized Englishman who used to be known as 'Tarzan' isn't all that interesting, so there has to be some contrived reason for him to go back to Africa. King Leopold of Belgium has gone bankrupt attempting to build infrastructure in the Congo and has sent Captain Leon Rom (played by Waltz) to Africa in search of diamonds. There is a tribe in the Congo that knows where these diamonds are and their Chief is willing to give them to Rom under one condition: Rom needs to bring back Tarzan to answer for the death of the chief's son. That's the setup, it's pretty straight forward, this movie doesn't really contain any exciting twists or surprises. 

While I do like the cast and think the movie is fairly entertaining, I wouldn't call it 'good'. A lot of the special effects are subpar for a 2016 film that cost an estimated $180 million, and both the plot and dialogue feel a bit clunky at times. It's a shame that there hasn't been a really good Tarzan movie since the Johnny Weissmuller films of the 30's, but I suppose hope springs eternal.
I give The Legend of Tarzan a 2 out of 5.